I always know it would be tough but never ever thought it would make me feel the same feeling of worhthlessness again. Now I feel as if there is no more meaning to carry on with life. Two years back the same thoughts covered my mind now its getting back again. How often should I have to suffer like this?

You always showed it will be tough for me also, TO BE WITHOUT YOU, but hardly I ever thought it will this much tough. Its my fault, anyway, to step in that way. It was my mistake to build up a dream. A dream from the beginning I always know would never come true...

I am writting all this here because I feel like dying and if I write something like this in my diary they will feel you are responsible for it. You are not. It me who is responsible. Well I don't think anyother good thing will ever happen in my life again...

I know it would be stupidity to give up life... But how long should I keep losing... How often do I have to fell down...

I will miss you forever... I have waited for you. But I don't think I will ever get what I am looking for....

The unwritten promise

Well, the circle is still not broken. But its running in the reverse direction.

I never imagined I could be so sick, I could become so cheap... Well the fact is I have missed out few important lessons of in life. My parent sent me to good school and college, but I think I have learned only what's written. I have not learned the meaning behind those words. I seem to have understood all but now I realised I have not.

I don't have words to explain my act. I don't know where my mind was that day. It wasn't me, but some kind of animal hidden inside me. A dirty animal hidden inside me. Will I get a chance to justify my action?

The fact is there is no excuse. No justification required because it was utter selfishness. Dude you were right I was wrong and I am wrong. It was extreme jealousy... It was the extremity of betrayal. Something like that would not have never happened in the human story...

By using those words, its me who has lost the dignity. Not you. I don't know what kind of face I had that day, I could stand up and speak to you like that...

May be, may be not, you can forget that moment but I am never going to let it go out of my mind. I don't remember doing any greater any blunder then that happened that day.

Don't worry my friend. You don't need to work hard to make my life terrible. It is already terrible now. It is already shattered. Its already broken.

I had broken the unwritten promise. And there is no forgiving for that... Never forgive me.